Domestic, Diva, and Desperate Housewife

I am all three, in DH form - domestic, diva, desperate - housewife.
How is that for a headline? Domestic diva desperate...but for what?
Have been thinking about this because of some recent changes in life, disrupting my regular daily routine at home. I am talking about the changing needs/attitudes/temperament of the boys, the new season, and my just-found-out pregnancy. I wrote about my daily schedule before which i have later pretty much adjusted and adapted to. It may be quite crazy for some but i was comfortable with it. It was fine for me to be tired every night. I was okay with my OC-ness. My boys were happy, healthy and safe with me. Until recently when Leaf began to walk and climb on tables, Sami opening closet doors and drawers...If my schedule was crazy before, my daily life at home now is a combination of a circus and a theatre. The boys are like monkeys or clowns or acrobats while i am plain theatrical in movement and voice. My attempts to be un-OC in order to keep really sane for the boys' sake prove only a little effective. Though i wrestle with them on the floor and let them eat Kobsa (bread) in the living room, i still cannot go to bed without vacuuming the floor, cleaning the kitchen, fluffing the pillows, preparing the bed...Some habits are just so hard to break.





Here's how it's like now:

7am-wake up, boil water, brush teeth, wash face, coffee and quiet time, PC

- while doing one of the above Leaf wakes up so he sits with me infront of the PC

- write or check emails, make breakfast, play with Leaf while either making breakfast or writing

-breakfast with Leaf (coffee for me, milk and bread for him)



830am -try to put Leaf down, entertain him with toys, Leaf wakes Sami up, prepare day clothes and diapers

-cuddle in bed (hugs, kisses, and lots of i love you's), TV for Sami while i wash and change Leaf

-go back to the PC (alternate with running after the boys/refereeing fights)

- cook/prepare the real breakfast (eggs, toast, cheese, the like)

- make the bed, turn on laundry machine (laundry already in the washer the night before)

-run after Sami who's climbing the TV then Leaf who's on the PC table wanting to "go inside" the screen (and just when Leaf is down and i am placing back the mouse and the cam on the table, both boys have already turned over the sofa which i used to cover the wire socket and Leaf is trying to pull the plug of the PC)

- sometimes i watch CBS early show and GMA on MBC 4 and Sami is crying "caaaaat!!!" (cartoon channel's Tom and Jerry) so i dance and sing, doing large movements and taking all the living room area just to get their attention and until they dance with me. While doing so, i watch TV. Sometimes i surrender to their cries so i let them watch what they want then i go back to the PC. Leaf is usually calm when his big brother is watching TV and his Mama is close by)

- watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune and let the boys play together (ride their bikes, play with toys) or watch the show with me (they look pretty interested/curious watching me "talk" to Alex Trebek and Pat---, reciting a letter of the alphabet...)



10am- breakfast Libyan style while watching Barney, wash Sami

- clean up mess from breakfast

- boys watch TV, i go back to the PC and finish whatever i am writing

- hang clothes, chat if some friend/family member is online (alternate this activity with checking on the boys, playing with them)

- diaper change


12 noon- change TV channel (no more cartoons), play with boys, bike/run around the house,

- clean kitchen, wash dishes, prepare ingredients of lunch

-run after boys ransacking drawers

- turn on cartoon channel for Sami and take a shower (if Leaf sleeps)

1pm- try to cook lunch (if Leaf is awake stay infront of the PC) or stay with the boys in the living room

-check mails again, write/continue tasks online
- boys' snacks (usually cookies/biscuits and juice)

2pm- boys' nap

- cook lunch, clean feeding bottles
- eat lunch, clean kitchen
- clean bathroom
- pick up after boys' mess (scattered toys)

4pm- write or lie down with the boys (Leaf usually wakes up and cry if i am not beside him)

-write or bake or read or watch TV or try to take a nap

5pm- boys wake up, play together (if Tarek is home early, he takes a nap while i play with the boys
- boys' snacks

6pm - boys play with Tarek while i prepare dinner and clean the kitchen
-try to watch Oprah at 6

7pm - dinner (lunch heated)

8pm - do dishes, clean kitchen, vacuum floor, prepare boys' bedtime clothes, prepare the bed

9pm - wash boys, change, go to bed, cuddle

10pm- give milk, boys sleep

-iron clothes, fold clothes, prepare what to cook for breakfast (sometimes i prepare batter for pancakes the night before)

11pm - pray, sleep.

Whew! What a list. I am pretty sure someone will feel stressed out reading this but then being able to write this down seems to have relieved me from stress. It's just so amazing. And strange.

Positive

Confirmed this morning through a home-kit.
I am pregnant. Yes, pregnant. Positive. Double lines. Pregnant.
I do not know what else to write. There's too much to say.
But for now i will have to spend one heart to heart "talk with God"... quiet time.

Missing Home

I've been feeling homesick and missing everybody back home. I am also craving for Kalamay from Bohol, Piaya from Bacolod, Butterscotch from Iloilo, Siopao, Fresh Lumpia, etc..

My family just called from home. Tito is now on his vacation there bringing with him the camera. I hope to see photos of what's going on and faces of family members. This also means that there won't be pictures posted on my blogs until the 21st of December (Tito's arrival date here) unless he immediately send copies to us. Anyhow this will or might help me begin to work on the completion of writing "jobs" i promise myself to do. I hate constantly thinking about this idea, that thought, this feeling, etc...and not being able to really share them to some friends. I do chat with friends and family but i just couldn't seem to write what i really want to tell them and share to them. The thoughts tend to vanish in the hasty exchanges of mundane stuffs and the chitchats. That's why i plan to just write them in this blog.

Mama promised to chat this Sunday and so did tita Vilma and tito Dan. They asked me to list down my tugons from home. I guess i should do it now before i forget them on Sunday.

List of tugon:
1. Kalamay, Piyaya, Butterscotch
2. Crushed Graham Crackers
3. Unflavored Gelatin
4. Lactacyd (also one for sis in law, Hamida)
5. Jogging Pants (always on sale in Gaisano) for the boys (the cheapest is equivalent to one dinar, imagine that while the most expensive is about 2dinars plus which is Walt Disney brand. The cheapest here is 10 to 15 dinars!)
6. Any (really creamy, maybe ponds or nivea) facial moisturizer
7. Shanne Herbal Oil
8. My TOR and diploma
9. Alsa Gulaman
10. Lucky Me noodles, pancit canton
11. Mama Sita's palabok, karekare, caldereta, etc. mix
12. Bulad and bottled guinamos, Spanish sardines
13. Dessicated Coconut
14. Borloloy from Cogon and jewelry making tools also from cogon (borloloy)
15. Two non-smooth scarf: one short and narrow, one square.
16. Wide Headbands
17. Serving Plates for ma in law n sis in law Tizam
18. Beef Chicharon
19. Argentina corned beef, canned mechado, 555 sardines
20. cosmo, good housekeeping, yes, wow magazines
21. Curry Powder (because i do not like the taste of their curry powder here)
22. Binoculars for Tarek (should be not cost more than 10 dinars or esle he'll buy it here)

Complete Again

Tarek arrived at 7 last night, bringing with him the 5 liter wine costing only 50dinars (about 15oopesos) and a pink sweatsuit for me. The boys scrambled, all screams and shrieks, when they saw their Papa. We are complete again, thank God.
When i wore the pants-shirt-sweater set he gave me, i realized what i really wanted was a pink colored thing i could hold and behold. I could not hold what i am wearing and only Tarek who actually drooled when he saw me in the attire could behold me in all my pink-Britney Spearish-suit glory. :) But i do love the feel of the cloth in my skin. He promise to take us all out so i could choose what i want. A pink mug perhaps, and a pink laddle...For now i am content with looking at my pants or sleeves every now and then.
No MP yet until now.

The Way to Silence Sam

Needing these Essentials

I can totally relate to this article pertaining life in this country where i am based. There is so heavy a truth in this that i find both comforting and challenging. For a newcomer/foreigner like me, i do need these things On the Edge wrote about. Just in case some friends might be so curious about what life here is really like, perhaps they can get a glimpse from this.
#links

Gliding Through

It's is very difficult to find/have quiet time when the boys are already scampering around early in the morning. This means i have to wake up earlier than 7 am and sleep earlier than 12. Leaf is becoming more demanding every day and his tanatrums are getting worse. I struggle against myself...on being a pushover mom. My friends knew i am likely to become one knowing my reputation for concealing anger so creatively. Or this may be just worm pride...or worse, fear of hurting my kids or i am just plain lazy/passive. But then i do get terribly angry and tend to be harsh on the boys. I know for sure that i have to work on getting rid of this passive-aggressive nature. I have to discipline myself so i can be a better mother. God help me.

Things i need to keep me going:
1. Know what i really want- for myself, and my family (need a list on this one too.)
2. Set fixed goals (short term and long term.)
3. Focus on goals
4. Make list of daily plans - pointing to short term goals
5. Fix daily quiet time schedule
6. Exercise (beginner's yoga video)
7. Continue writing (write friends, journal, blog, etc.)

I am looking forward to seeing Tarek today. He called last night and said he will try to come home early. I hope it won't be the Libyan-early kind which is 8 or 9pm but the Pinky's kind of "early" which means 5 or 6pm.

I prepared pancake batter last night for today's breakfast. The boys as well as their appetites have grown so much. Though Sami has become so picky of foods, he can finish one whole burger bun if i tell him it's "pizza." I just put some pizza sauce and some cheese in it and he'll happily munch it all. Hmmm, i think i will make mashed potatoes for lunch today and mix in the pizza sauce leftover from yesterday.

My monthly MP hasn't arrived yet. I could not exactly describe what i am feeling right now. It's like a mixture of excitement, anxiety, fear, worry.

My Boys Lately

Weekend at Tarek's workplace in Janzour.

At a Filipino Community party at Pasotti, Tripoli.

Pink Winter

The boys are now taking their afternoon nap. I hope they will have a good 3-hour sleep, long enough for me to cook their early dinner, fold the dry clothes that are scattered on the bed (they were laundry that have been drying for almost two days now) and clean the kitchen and the bathroom.
Winter's stepping in, causing me to be sluggish. I tend to just stay infront of the PC, surfing, while having cup after cup of coffee. This isn't good for my health. Another thing i don't like is that our clothes, newly washed, are all over the bedroom, trying to dry (because we do not have a tumble dryer, intawon pud) in a heated room. Everytime i change the boys or look for some clothes to wear, it's like choosing in an okay-okay store. The moist ones are on the bed, the almost dry ones are hanging on the double deck, the dresser, and the wet ones are on the plastic indoor-clothespin.
Tarek left to attend a cousin's wedding in Slitton, his father's hometown, yesterday. He will be back tomorrow and i hope bringing with him the red wine, fresh from the (secret) winery, he promised and the "any pink colored stuff" i asked him to bring for me. I have been crazy about pink lately. My eyes love to feast on the gallery of pinks in www.pink-princess.co.uk. I dream of owning a kitchen with all the products from this store and probably own a restaurant and name it PinKytchen. Cute, huh? The last time i went crazy over this color was way back high school years. After graduation, i decided it's not cool to have a favorite color the same as your name. When i turned 18, i wore a peach dress. On my wedding, though a part of me had always been dreaming of a pink motif, i decided to give Sunset Orange a try. It wasn't that bad...and oh well, i want to have a 7th anniversary wedding and that would be Pink's time to shine. :)
Could i be pregnant and having cravings for pink? My period is due tomorrow. This may be just wishful thinking or actualization (or what do you call that in Psychology?) - of having a baby girl.
I will text Tarek now to bring me a pink coffee mug and a pink bracelet. I have two hours left to finish my chores and before Sam or Leaf wakes up.

Plannin' Again Pinks and Blues

These are my plans for today:
1. Search for images of different herbs (because Tarek's cousin gave me lots of different kinds from Musharatta and i have just made them into a wonderful air freshener.)
2. Search for fun projects for kid's room
3. Cook noodle soup with egg and onions for the boys' lunch
4. Write (i am not really writing yet now.)

Schedule to write about the following:
1. Life in Libya (our welcome, their culture, family)
2. Diva-ness of my Divine Calling as a SAHM (adventures, thoughts)
3. My beloved "The One" husband
4. My sons - growing up
5. Women in Libya
6. Not giving up my Christian faith but integrating the Islam way of life into it.
7. New dreams (of plans of and along with going home, house building/designing, business design, reunions and parties, etc.)

That's just about it for now. It's even too much for me to think since we've been here for nine months already and considering the bulk and weight of experiences i've had here. Omigosh...this would surely be both terrible and amazing.