Gliding Through

It's is very difficult to find/have quiet time when the boys are already scampering around early in the morning. This means i have to wake up earlier than 7 am and sleep earlier than 12. Leaf is becoming more demanding every day and his tanatrums are getting worse. I struggle against myself...on being a pushover mom. My friends knew i am likely to become one knowing my reputation for concealing anger so creatively. Or this may be just worm pride...or worse, fear of hurting my kids or i am just plain lazy/passive. But then i do get terribly angry and tend to be harsh on the boys. I know for sure that i have to work on getting rid of this passive-aggressive nature. I have to discipline myself so i can be a better mother. God help me.

Things i need to keep me going:
1. Know what i really want- for myself, and my family (need a list on this one too.)
2. Set fixed goals (short term and long term.)
3. Focus on goals
4. Make list of daily plans - pointing to short term goals
5. Fix daily quiet time schedule
6. Exercise (beginner's yoga video)
7. Continue writing (write friends, journal, blog, etc.)

I am looking forward to seeing Tarek today. He called last night and said he will try to come home early. I hope it won't be the Libyan-early kind which is 8 or 9pm but the Pinky's kind of "early" which means 5 or 6pm.

I prepared pancake batter last night for today's breakfast. The boys as well as their appetites have grown so much. Though Sami has become so picky of foods, he can finish one whole burger bun if i tell him it's "pizza." I just put some pizza sauce and some cheese in it and he'll happily munch it all. Hmmm, i think i will make mashed potatoes for lunch today and mix in the pizza sauce leftover from yesterday.

My monthly MP hasn't arrived yet. I could not exactly describe what i am feeling right now. It's like a mixture of excitement, anxiety, fear, worry.