Another "Libyan" Issue

Yesterday we went to Kadra hospital for my regular pre-natal. We finally decided to have my delivery there instead of the Swiss Hospital because it is very near our house and i feel a lot more comfortable and "at home" with my OB-Gynie there being a female and with a lot of Filipino nurses around.

Anyhow, after my regular routine check, i was asked to take some lab tests so we went to their lab and there i encountered a bit unfriendly med tech (i supposed) who does not speak English (i supposed) for she just signalled me to come inside and pointed the seat. Obviously there was only one seat so i positioned myself, rolled up my long black sleeve. In a matter of seconds (about 5) without any "warning" (like alcohol being rubed on my arm, whatsoever) i suddenly felt the needle like she intentionally wanted to hurt me (but of course not). Then she aske me to hold the cotton on my arm as she put the tape (i was not used to "helping myself" in cases like this for med techs i met before know pretty well how to do things by themselves, though this is really no big deal, not yet). Afterwards, we both went out, my husband and my uncle were outside with the boys and she talked to my husband asking for my passport. My uncle, a nurse in Libya for almost 20 years now asked if this is a new system. She just shrugged. Hellow? How rude can she be? SO my husband talked to her and told her that i am his wife and these little boys are our kids. There, her expressions changed, as if a pail of cold water had been poured over her. And there, I heard one of the stupidest questions ever: "Alesh?" as in, WHY? like "Why am I this Libyan's wife?????" and she said she thought this man (my uncle) was my husband....then this seemingly quiet, unfriendly woman began to chatter saying things to my husband as if i am not there, like "Oh, as long as your family accepts her..." blah..blah... and "is she Chinese? or Filipino?" God knows how much i wanted to ask her if she's from Mars or is she really Libyan? And if she's single, "ALESH?"...grrrr, she really got in to my nerves. All i did was to be quiet, gave her a smile and went out after she returned my passport.

I talked with my husband after that. Why did she ask "Why?" when you told her i am your wife? I asked him. So he explained that it's because she is single and they have "lost" another Libyan man to a foreighner. My husband told me he wanted to answer her before that it's because he could not find a Libyan woman as sweet and as smart as me, but of course that would not be a good thing to answer her as she would feel worse. So he just said, "it's his luck." Grrr...Luck? marriage is luck???? not choice??? anyhow, i feel sorry for this woman who doesn't have any clue herself as to why she hasn't met the kind of man who wants to marry her. Perhaps that man who likes grumpy, frowning, rude Libyan women will come along. I hope. Then she will be happy, and stop asking questions like "why one Libyan man is married to a foreigner."

Just for the record: I love my husband's family because i know they love me too. I love my mother-in-law who i think is the nicest and kindest Libyan woman i have ever met. She gives me "henna treat", brings me food everyday...in other words, she is a spoiler but lately, i begged her not to come up here anymore unless she misses us or wants to play with the boys because i do not want her to get tired or stressed. Her sisters are so nice, they like to give me gifts, and i enjoy so much their company even if i understand only a little of what they talk about. My sisters in law (my husband's two sisters and the wives of his two brothers) are all beautiful women, inside-out. Though we have a lot (as in a lot!) of differences in how we handle things- kids, household, schedules, lifestyle, etc...i know they respect my views and ways. And i admire the fact that even if they do not like to go to school, or they do not value higher learning as much as other Libyan women do, they like to learn new things that would help them become better mothers and wives. In my opinion, these women are the epitome of an ideal Libyan woman- they value things that are of importance such as family, time, and children and set-aside/ignore others things that would cause dispute.